dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
