I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
