So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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