Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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