i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
