I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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