Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
