We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
