you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
