Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
