This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
