i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
