just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
