Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
