So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
