We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
