But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
