sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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