Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
