just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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