my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im six kinds of drunk right now
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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