O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
