Me. At least after what I've been through.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
