I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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