My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
