Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
