You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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