So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
