I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
