Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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