You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will be naked everywhere
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
