dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
