I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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