So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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