i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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