i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
vagina is talking i cant
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
