IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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