i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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