she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
