She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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