when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
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Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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