You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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