Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
