Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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