I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
