Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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