i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
