They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize