Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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