So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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