i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
