hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
