no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
