I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i will never coherently bang her
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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