hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Found the puke drawer
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
