No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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