i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
