dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
