I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
